After a scheduling mix-up on Wednesday, I was practically begging to start Chemo on Thursday. I hated the anticipation and wanted to get on with it. Once I was all checked in on Thursday, it took 3 hours of blood work and premeds before I was finally given the “Love Potion”.
And I was feeling just fine. Trying to think good thoughts and visualize this medicine shrinking my cancer. We had a family pillow fight that night. I took all of my meds like a good little sick girl.
On Friday I was up and about- had a pilates and physical therapy session. Ran some errands, went to the grocery, popped in for my neulasta shot. I was feeling like I had this under control.
On Saturday I was at my nephews 3rd birthday party when it started to hit me. By 2pm I was in bed and pretty much didn’t get out for 24 hours. It’s hard to describe what it feels like. It mostly feels like I was hit by a bus; my skin and flesh feel bruised and sore. My intestinal track is shutting down. My face and neck are tingly. Sleeping is the only thing that feels ok. I’m not interested in food and have to choke down water.
The hardest part is being trapped in bed and hearing my babies cry, and I can’t get up. In my calculations of what Sean would have to do for the kids, I forgot that he will also need to help me. It’s going to be a long road. I broke down in tears this morning about how I can’t feel like this for 4 months. And then I felt a little bit better. And then I felt a little bit worse.
The Breast of Times 
Keep your chin up. You can beat this!,
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Dear Diana,
Your candor and courage are astonishing. If it is any consolation, your blogs will inspire and encourage all who see them.
You can do this.
God bless you,
Carolyn and Bill Curry
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I must agree with Carolyn. I am personally so inspired by your blog posts–and by you, Diana. Love that you are enjoying the good times, and letting yourself just be through the rough ones. The operative word there is “through”.
Love and blessings,
Diane
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Thank you for sharing this with us. You are inspiring me but four letter words are just fine too! Love and love,
Ginger
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Diana, add the entire Logan clan to your list of faithful sherpas on this trek with you. We are guided by your strength, determination, humor and grace — these are the qualities you have always had! You’ve been “kickin’ ass” all your life — and no doubt will continue to do so for a very l o n g time to come!! Thanks for all the updates — we’re here, right beside you,
King and June
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