After a scheduling mix-up on Wednesday, I was practically begging to start Chemo on Thursday. I hated the anticipation and wanted to get on with it. Once I was all checked in on Thursday, it took 3 hours of blood work and premeds before I was finally given the “Love Potion”.
And I was feeling just fine. Trying to think good thoughts and visualize this medicine shrinking my cancer. We had a family pillow fight that night. I took all of my meds like a good little sick girl.
On Friday I was up and about- had a pilates and physical therapy session. Ran some errands, went to the grocery, popped in for my neulasta shot. I was feeling like I had this under control.
On Saturday I was at my nephews 3rd birthday party when it started to hit me. By 2pm I was in bed and pretty much didn’t get out for 24 hours. It’s hard to describe what it feels like. It mostly feels like I was hit by a bus; my skin and flesh feel bruised and sore. My intestinal track is shutting down. My face and neck are tingly. Sleeping is the only thing that feels ok. I’m not interested in food and have to choke down water.
The hardest part is being trapped in bed and hearing my babies cry, and I can’t get up. In my calculations of what Sean would have to do for the kids, I forgot that he will also need to help me. It’s going to be a long road. I broke down in tears this morning about how I can’t feel like this for 4 months. And then I felt a little bit better. And then I felt a little bit worse.