I have been overwhelmed with love and support for a few weeks but today put me over the top. I wish there was a way to bottle this up so I could share it with other people that have to face this challenge alone. My Facebook blew up today, my phone hasn’t stopped buzzing and dinging and ringing, there are packages on my front door, cards, hugs, snowballs, surprise buddha statues and a party. Happy Birthday to ME!!
I’m working backwards here but today we went to Chemo School. Chemo School is where you sit for a few hours and listen to all of the side effects from chemo. And the side effects from the many medicines they give you to help with the side effects of chemo. I was reminded of the importance of washing your hands (I’m terrible at that), staying hydrated (I’m terrible at that), eating healthy (I’m moderately terrible at that) and avoiding contaminated food (kind of terrible at that). My plan was to go to the whole foods salad bar a lot, but it turns out salad bars are a chemo no-no. Another thing we learned of interest is that when I’m on chemo, my body fluids will be toxic. And my pee will be bright orangy-red. Toxic pee can be my super hero defense mechanism if anyone tries to mess with me.
I chopped off my hair on Sunday. As usual, we made a party out of it. Otis made the cut and Charlotte fixed me up right. (She has been cutting my hair since I was 5). Once the idea crept into my mind to do it-I had to get it done as soon as possible. It was easier than waiting for it to fall out. I’m sure it will be a shock when it’s ALL gone but I don’t feel as attached to the new do.
This is the calm before the storm. The anticipation of what’s to come might be worse than going through it. Or chemo might knock the shit out of me; I don’t know. It’s easy for me to stay positive when I feel fine- who knows what the rest of this week will bring. I was supposed to start tomorrow but there was a scheduling issue, and it might be Thursday. I was bummed out- and kept telling the nurse I was ready to start- but I don’t want to spend any more of my feeling fine time being bummed out.
A few years ago my cousin Amy and I were heading to India on an ayurvedic pancha karma healing adventure for a few months. When we told our grandmother she shot it straight and said “well, you won’t be comfortable.”