Path-ology

My heart is torn. Do I make more posters for the Women’s March that we will be attending in 2 hours-or do I sit down and write a post about my cancer? Several people have kindly let me know that I don’t need to take on the burden of our country right now. That I have another fight to fight. I can’t seem to separate the two battles in my heart or in my body. I made it a goal to avoid any inauguration news yesterday but the waiting room at the doctor’s office had a glimpse of Obamas getting onto the chopper and waiving goodbye to us, to me, and a sob welled up in my throat and my body heaved to keep it all in.

Last week my parents joined me for a post-op appointment with my breast surgical oncologist. He started by confirming that the surgery was a success. They removed the entire tumor and all possible lymph nodes. The tumor and lymph nodes were sent to a lab for an extensive pathology report. The report said the the tumor was 8.3 centimeters and it was all cancer. At one point the doctors thought that maybe the large size of the tumor was due to inflammation and precancer.  They removed 20 lymph nodes under my right armpit. Eighteen of the 20 lymph nodes had cancer in them. The chemotherapy might’ve shrunk the tumor by a tiny bit, but it didn’t work as well as they expected. I am reclassified as Stage 3C.

It was sobering to hear that this thing I’m fighting is worse than we imagined. My doctor called it a beast. We were filled with gratitude and fear and we all wept together in that room. And now we march! I march with my sisters in New Orleans. I will march into radiation. I will march into more procedures to remove ovaries, and whatever else they may need to take.

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6 thoughts on “Path-ology

  1. Diane McPhail January 21, 2017 / 5:29 pm

    Ah, Diana, I also avoided all news yesterday, and though I could not free myself of an intense restlessness and frustrating failure on several paintings , as well as a subdued nausea, I did not weep. But I am weeping now. You freed my tears when you described the waiting room and the Obamas waving goodbye. I don’t quite know what to do without them. My heart goes with you as you march, brave, courageous women. I had planned to go to Washington, driving a car full of wonderful women, and at a certain point, some kind of common sense kicked in and said, wait, you have still not recovered completely from Tanzania last summer, you have an appointment with the surgeon for your wind pipe, and there will be huge things coming now where your energies and passion will be needed. Stay at home. Make beauty as you can–my father taught me that. Yesterday was 6 years since his death. Though I miss him intensely,I am grateful he did not live to see what has come to pass. My heart, soul, and passion go with all of you today, and with my friends going without me, and with all the amazing women whom I have seen fill the airports, trains, and planes in the photos–especially from Jennifer. This is a historic moment. This is change from the grass roots up. This will make a difference.

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  2. lesleyadele January 21, 2017 / 10:04 pm

    thanks Diana for your steadfast fight for Self and for our World! We need you! Lesley

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  3. McKinley January 22, 2017 / 1:24 am

    You are a warrior!!!! You continue to march and fight the fight! Sending you powerful love!

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  4. sara farmer January 22, 2017 / 5:35 pm

    We are the sisterhood of the world and marching for are family’s. Saying goodbye to President Obama and family was so heart felt. Your fighting for so many things right now, stay strong keep the fight going and hear our prayers. I know You can beat this Diana ! Love to the family. Sara

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  5. Carolyn Curry January 22, 2017 / 5:58 pm

    Such precious picture of Luna. Bill said he sent picture of us marching in Atlanta which was so exciting!!! You are marching and we are with you!

    Sent from my iPhone

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  6. Beverly Morris January 24, 2017 / 4:08 pm

    WRITE ON DIANA!!!!!

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